I have a preeetty special place in my heart for my wee nieces and nephews! And they are growing in number... and height! Little Annabelle is the latest addition to to the Truman family... she's actually 9 months old now, and ridiculously adorable! She always has the biggest smile plastered across her face any time you lay your eyes on her :)

But going back a year now...  my beautiful sister Sarah was 26 weeks pregnant while were on a winter holiday in Hanmer Springs. So we set out to unknown locations with her gorgeous family, to capture this awesome time for them. These guys are no strangers to the blog... if you've been around here for a while you have probably seen me share photos of Penelope and Matthew, along with little Victoria, who they sadly lost at 38 weeks. 

This is a rather large blog... because there are just so many photos that I love from the maternity shoot through to darling little Annabelle making her entrance into this world!

I've been looking forward to sharing this blog for a long time now. Like, long before this beautiful baby was born, long before these maternity photos were taken, and actually... long before Heather was even pregnant with little 'Baby Boo'! I didn't know it would be this specific story, or this little boy... and I didn't know the journey Heather and Doug would be on to get to this point. But photographing our amazing friends on their road to parenthood has been a true privilege... a mini Richardson has always been highly anticipated and desired! It hasn't been an easy road to get there, but it's been a journey full of growth, faith, strength and peace.

I am soooo happy to share that this adorable little man... Isaac Sebastian Richardson... joined the big wide world at 9:55pm on Christmas Day!! The most precious all of gifts and an answer to prayer, this little blessing came in the most beautiful, calm fashion weighing 6 pounds, 6 ounces. 
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And he is DIVINE. Really divine. And guess what?! He's also my Godson!! I am soooo honoured to have another little man as an important part of my life, and Liam and I are excited to be journeying through parenthood with Heather and Doug. We just adore this family so much.

It's Baby Loss Awareness Week internationally, so I thought maybe I'd share just a little more about a wonderful organisation called Heartfelt.

If you've been hanging around this blog for a while, you'll know that in June last year my sister lost her beautiful, perfect baby at full-term. She had also lost another child through miscarriage prior to that. This was the first time I was really exposed to infant loss, but it opened up a whole new world to me -  a world that is hardly ever talked about. A world where people often grieve silently, a world where everything doesn't happen as perfectly as expected. A world that turns hopes and dreams and anticipation upside down. A world that, sadly, many of you will know all too well.

I knew I couldn't change the circumstances for families in similar situations, but little old me did have something tangible to offer. Heartfelt was already up and running in Australia, and now it's growing in so many areas here in NZ, thanks to an awesome bunch of volunteer photographers throughout the country. There are also other amazing organisations working in similar areas, offering services to these families... every one of them is inspiring. Through Heartfelt, we offer photos free of charge to families who have experienced stillbirths, premature births, or have children with serious and terminal illnesses. It's heartbreaking that this organisation even has to exist, but so incredibly awesome that it does. Not only does it provide treasured memories for these families, it also helps them to know they are not alone in their grief. It gives people an opening to share their experiences, and talk about their beautiful babies. These photos are so important to families who find out that their little child they have been nurturing for weeks or months is no longer going to be going home in their arms. 

Any day now, our hearts are going to burst with love for a new tiny person! A little baby for Sarah and Nick... and a new niece or nephew for me and Liam! Yuss... we're always keen for new mini humans to try and squeeze favourite Aunty and Uncle status out of.

They are known as 'Rainbow Babies' - babies that are born following the loss of another baby through miscarriage or stillbirth. At first I thought that sounded a bit airy-fairy. But there is a beautiful and very true meaning behind it...

Beautiful, bright rainbows come after a storm. They are symbols of hope and promise.
Everyone experiences storms of differing degrees. But these storms shape us and grow us... and we appreciate the rainbows at the other end even more.

Last year we shared the story of my sister and family losing their precious girl, Victoria, at full-term. I wrote that blog wanting Victoria's little life to be celebrated, not swept away as if it didn't happen. We wanted to acknowledge the times in life that don't always go the way we plan them. At the time there was nothing could have prepared us for what happened, it was so unexpected - everything was looking normal and healthy until the moment her heart stopped beating. But looking back, we can see the many ways our family was being prepared. We can see the abundant blessings that Victoria brought us and many others. We can see how much she changed so many hearts, without her even seeing the world. Her short life was more than valuable. Amongst the huge sadness and grief, there is a strength and a unity that grows through the storm. And there is an incomprehensible happiness knowing that soon they will be blessed with another beautiful child. We are beyond excited about meeting this little bundle who is already such an incredibly loved and valued part of our family. 

Sarah and Nick are the perfect parents for this little one, and can't wait to hold him or her in their arms.... for the next step in their family journey.

I've been sending telepathic messages to the baby to stay in that tummy until I was able to post this blog though, and to arrive into this world on a day that fits around my schedule! So far, so good ;)

How ridiculously adorable is Penelope?! She's such a big girl now... 

Three years old, and about to be a big sister! And apparently, a mother soon too. She's been having extremely frequent scans with her toy stethoscope and over the past 8 months has had many different babies in her tummy... ranging from baby caterpillars to her latest - a girl called 'January'. January has been coming out in '5 weeks' for about the past 3 months! 

If I got $1 every time someone told me they thought Sarah was one of the most gorgeous pregnant women they have ever seen, I'd be rich. And it's true, she really does do pregnancy extremely gracefully! She's all baby... and that's one pretty big bub inside that tummy. She also doesn't complain. About anything. If all I knew about pregnancy was through her, I'd be thinking it was a dream!

The beach and Penelope have never reeeeally mixed. The feeling of sand between her toes is more of a terrifying, world-ending situation, rather than relaxing or fun. We amped her up about going to the beach for the photos though, and she kept asking if it was time to go yet! But when we arrived and there were horses galloping around, she opted to watch from the safety of the car, because the horses might eat her. Fair enough. If I was faced with an animal about 10x my size, I would probably stay in the car too.

Sarah, you are a true beauty.

When I do maternity shoots with Sarah, they seem to be multi-faceted, multi-day shoots. It's just what you do for sisters who you love photographing! So welcome to Day 2... something a little more fancy for the ladies of the house!

And I'll end with these images, because as one of my fabulous friends said to me... they are such celebration images, and Sarah is a preggy babe!!

The fact that these are blue actually holds no clues as to whether it will be a boy or a girl - Nick found out at the 20 week scan, but Sarah didn't! How they manage that, I do not know... but if anyone can keep a secret, it's Nick.

Sarah, Nick and little P - ah! SO excited. It's so surreal to think you will have another child sometime in the very near future... you are such an amazing family and we love you so, so much. Can't wait to come down to meet him or her! All the love and prayers and blessings in the world xoxoxo 

Three months ago today, my life was touched so deeply. And I want to share a bit of the story with you. It's a personal story, and it's taken me a while to put any sort of words together. I write, and I discard... and I write, and I discard. I think constantly about it, and form the perfect words in my head. But then I come to write again... and I'm somewhat blank.

But I want to honour a little wee life that has had a powerful influence. A perfect baby girl who unfortunately never made it to see the light of day. Sadly my darling niece, Victoria Kate, was stillborn at 38 weeks, to my beautiful sister and her husband Nick, for no known reason. 

I want to honour the strength, faith, and incredible love and positivity that Sarah and Nick have. They have so graciously accepted this new and unexpected journey. While this has been a hugely sad time, they are filled with God's peace, and continue to trust in His goodness, which has been proven over and over again during the past three months. They are so thankful for the opportunity to have carried this precious little girl for nearly nine months, and continue to be the most amazing and adoring parents to two year old Penelope. Above all, we honour God for his peace beyond all understanding, for giving Sarah and Nick another beautiful daughter, and for giving them the strength needed to carry on without her on earth.

Many of you have seen a couple of maternity photos that I posted along the journey of Sarah's pregnancy... but because we did small maternity shoots over a few months as her belly grew, I never had the chance to blog the finished product before the unimaginable happened. 

I am aware this is a sensitive topic. But I do really want to share the love that was poured into this 'bump', the beauty that is my sister, the cuteness that is Penelope, and the wonderfulness that is this family. I want to celebrate the joy Victoria brought to our lives over those months, and the blessing she has been to so many people... not hide it away as if it never happened. I want you to look and smile!

The hope and anticipation of a second little baby in the house was definitely obvious - we all couldn't wait to meet the new little button in our family. We are a very close family, and I'm an extremely proud aunty... so I jumped at the opportunity to go down to Invercargill for the month of June. I was going firstly as a sister and an aunty - to be there to help around the house and look after Penelope (who you have seen on here many times before!) when Sarah went into labour and was in hospital. And secondly as a photographer - to capture the first moments at the birth, and to do newborn photos as soon as possible afterwards.

Sarah makes pregnancy look easy - full of energy, incredibly healthy, and totally radiant, with a perfect bump. She is absolutely gorgeous inside and out.

(And Penelope? Well she is clearly a model in the making...!!)

But after I'd been in Invercargill only a day, Sarah realised that she hadn't felt the baby move for a while. Some tests and checks later that afternoon sadly revealed no heartbeat. All of a sudden, the day turned from the excitement of a new baby arriving at any moment, to coming to understand that their precious little baby had passed away, for no apparent reason. This was obviously a huge shock after a very healthy pregnancy... especially being at full-term. We were all heart-broken. Sarah was induced later that evening, and perfect little Victoria was born at 5:50am on the 4th of June, without breath.

I am now so incredibly grateful that I was able to do maternity shots for Sarah as her bump grew, and that they have photographs to remind them of the joy and happiness their daughter has brought them, for the rest of their lives. I am also incredibly thankful that I was down in Invercargill and able to photograph beautiful Victoria just after she was born, so they have a record of everything - her little ears, little hands, little feet, little nose. They have memories of their short time with her they can look back on as they work through their grief. Arguably the most important shoot of my life. 

Unfortunately stillbirth is not as uncommon as I had thought, and so often there are no clear causes. Apparently six in every thousand babies born in NZ every year are stillborn. And Sarah and Nick join the approximately 300 families each year in Australia and NZ who lose a baby close to term with no known cause. I want to acknowledge those parents who have lost loved little babies through miscarriage, stillbirth, and health issues. It's heartbreaking. I cannot even imagine what that must be like for a parent. As an aunty, I've only experienced a touch of the devastation. And I also acknowledge that everyone is going to have very different experiences too. We have been blown away by how strong and positive Sarah and Nick are, but of course it is so difficult, and there won't be a day go by where they don't think of their beautiful daughter.

Sarah and Nick had prepared Penelope so well for having a little sister or brother, and what that would mean for her. She knew Mummy and Daddy would be very busy, that the baby would cry lots, and that sometimes the baby would need lots of cuddles. She loved to listen to the heartbeat and cuddle Mummy's tummy, and was excited about having a baby at home.

It has been so incredible to see the mind of a two year old processing the fact that Mummy and Daddy's baby had to go and live with Jesus, instead of living at home. She has understood far more than we could have ever imagined. The day Victoria was born, I lay silently listening to Penelope praying, unprompted, to God in the middle of the night... "Dear Dog, Mummy Daddy bit sad. Mummy no baby". "Dear Dog, Mummy tummy get better. Baby Toria in hop-dop... live Jesus now." I will never forget that tiny, sweet little voice speaking in the dark, as tears trickled down my cheeks. So incredibly precious.

Victoria Kate means 'Victorious' and 'Pure'... and she is definitely nothing short of that. Her little life has taught me so much. Love you forever little button. 

Sarah, Nick, and Penelope - you are beyond amazing. We are truly blessed to be your family, and to journey alongside you. Love and hugs always xoxoxox

This is something I feel very passionate about, after truly experiencing the importance of those photographs. Without knowing I was writing this at the time, Sarah said to me this morning, "If I could give one piece of advice to anybody in this situation…  it would totally be to have some nice photographs taken". I would really like to bless other families that I hear about who sadly have the same outcome, and really want to be able to offer sensitive and private photographs of the baby as a gift to other families who lose children due to stillbirth or sickness. Please get in touch with me as soon as possible if you hear of this happening to anyone you know around Dunedin - if I can help to be part of the grief and healing process through offering photos shortly after the birth, then I will do my best  xx

I also hope this opens up some discussion - I think it's so healthy to talk about these things which affect so many families, yet are rarely discussed. Please feel free to discuss, comment, share, think... it's good for all of us :)